Jorge Luis Borges was a master of pseudo-scientific classification, and below you can find the list (found in Other Inquisitions) which is perhaps the paramount example of this skill. As this blog takes its name from a portion of the list, I thought it was worth posting.

" On those remote pages it is written that animals are divided into:

(a) those that belong to the Emperor,

(b) embalmed ones,

(c) those that are trained,

(d) suckling pigs,

(e) mermaids,

(f) fabulous ones,

(g) stray dogs,

(h) those that are included in this classification,

(i) those that tremble as if they were mad,

(j) innumerable ones,

(k) those drawn with a very fine camel brush,

(l) others,

(m) those that have just broken a flower vase,

(n) those that resemble flies from a distance."